How do you tell a mother that her 13-year-old daughter has been killed in a car crash? Or a young wife that the father of her unborn child will never come home? Or the parents of a soldier that their son has been maimed on the battlefield? Every day in Britain, police officers have to perform this most difficult of tasks. And every day, families receive that knock at the door which means their lives will never be the same again.
Vin Ray hears powerful first-hand testimony from both sides of this terrible equation - the police and army officers charged with breaking the worst possible news to unsuspecting families, and the families themselves. Among those we meet are Helen Hughes, the mother of a teenager killed by a speeding driver, and Steve Chaplain, the officer who knocked at her door; Thanna al-Ghabban, whose husband Mohammed died in a motorcycle accident less than a year after their wedding; and Mike Griffiths, a former senior army officer who lost his soldier son.
Handled the right way, a “knock” conversation can help the receiver come to terms with the terrible news. So, Vin Ray asks, what is the right way of telling someone that a loved one has been killed, and how do you deal with unexpected responses – from shock to outright violence? What does it do to an officer to have to deliver traumatic news again and again? And how can faith help both sides deal with such a devastating experience?
Listen:
A Knock at the Door
Chose the correct word when you hear it. If you don't grasp the meaning, put a question mark next to it and ask me or a partner to explain.
While listening:
I can vouch for / verify that
It fell / felt to me
Break / bring the bad news
One I’ve recalled / replayed many times
Have a role to pray / play
The believed / bereaved
Keep the notion / ocean of death tucked away
Put in a reprint / report
What’s coming / blocking her way
She just keeled off / over
A visceral / visual effect
Emotionally straining / draining
They just absolutely flop / flip / flap
In a nutshell / nutcase
Always do your research/ homework
The deceased / defeated
Big no nos / yos yos
Passed / past away
To pass on / over the bad news
To be on the responding / receiving end
Were / wore anything to happen
On leave / lead
Their strapping lad / land
An emotional lunch / punch bag
Absorb / inspire other people’s despair
It takes its toll / tall
At times avoid/ void of emotion
The whole situation has just sapped / swept everything out
of you
Try and bottle / battle it up
Brittleness / Britishness
Feel very raw / low
Discussion
1. Have you ever received some really bad news?
2. Which of the situations discussed in the programme do you think would have been the most difficult to handle?
3. When was the last time you felt emotionally raw?
4. Do you think it helps to have a faith in situations like these?
Discussion
1. Have you ever received some really bad news?
2. Which of the situations discussed in the programme do you think would have been the most difficult to handle?
3. When was the last time you felt emotionally raw?
4. Do you think it helps to have a faith in situations like these?
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