(Student writing B2.2) New technology

We're living in an era where new technologies are accepted as the normal standard, we're used to wait to the new IPhone every year, or the new updates in every technological device that we have, but it wasn’t like this some time ago.

I remember being 7-year-old maybe, sitting in the desk of my old apartment and waiting 10 minutes for the computer to start working. It was normal for me, it was the standard of that time, but if it seems impossible to think about waiting that long just for turn up a computer.

Times have changed, maybe we are more impatient. We are used to get everything fast, wait for something seems like a waste of time, and I think that we develop this kind of thinking based in how easy a lot of things are thanks to this process of constant improvement.

I would say that the most important breakthrough is in the area of communication, being able to send a mail to another part of the world in seconds, call your friend from a different country or read about what it’s happening in the UK while you are having breakfast in Chile, makes me feel like I’m connected to this huge network of people from different places. However, everything isn’t bright and there are problems.

Our social abilities are badly affected. The way we built personal relationships is being harmed with the possibility of talk with someone while you’re just looking at a screen, where you can hide your insecurities, your fears and even change your personality because nobody is actually there to judge you.

For me this is scary and dangerous, we are losing the opportunity of really understand what the other person we’re talking with feels, and that chance of communicate by the language of gestures is what makes communication special.

writing assignment

GW

Gabriel White

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Today, 9:46 a.m.

Marisabel Diaz Gil (marisabeldiazg@gmail.com)

We're living in an era where new technologies are accepted as the normal standard. We're used to waiting for the new IPhone every year, or the new updates in every technological device that we have. But it wasn’t like this some time ago. I remember being 7-year-old maybe, sitting at the desk of my old apartment and waiting 10 minutes for the computer to start working. It was normal for me, it was the standard of that time, though it seems impossible now to think about waiting that long just a computer to boot up. Times havechanged. Maybe we are more impatient. We are used to getting everything fast. Waiting for something seems like a waste of time, and I think that we develop this kind of thinking based on how easy a lot of things are,  thanks to the process of constant improvement.

I would say that the most important technological breakthrough is in the area of communication. Being able to send an email to another part of the world in seconds, call a friend from a different country, or read about what it’s happening in the UK while you are having breakfast in Chile, makes me feel like I’m connected to this huge network of people from different places. However, everything isn’t so bright and there are problems. Our social abilities are badly affected. The way we build personal relationships is being harmed with the possibility of talking with someone while you’re just looking at a screen, where you can hide your insecurities, your fears and even change your personality because nobody is actually there to judge you. For me this is scary and dangerous. We are losing the opportunity of really understanding what the other person we’re talking with feels, and the chance to communicate by the language of gestures is what makes communication special.

-- 

Marisabel Díaz Gil

Hi Mari

This is your most common mistake:

standard, we're

standard. We're

we have, but

we have. But

changed, maybe

changed. Maybe

fast, wait

fast. Waiting

communication, being

communication. Being

dangerous, we

dangerous. We 

The way to fix this problem is to grasp the difference between a clause and a sentence. A sentence basically communicates one idea, even if it is made up of several clauses. The clause can qualify and extend the idea, but you can't introduce a whole new idea without finishing the sentence and starting a new one. 

Look at this example:

First idea:

We're used to waiting for the new IPhone every year, (basic clause)

or the new updates in every technological device (extending clause)

that we have. (complementary clause)

End of idea.

New idea:

But it wasn’t like this some time ago. (one clause sentence)

Notice that the words "but" and "this" refer back to the previous sentence. Thus the two ideas are connected, but not in the same sentence.

Look at this sentence. It is long, but you'll see that the clauses are connected correctly by linking words and commas. It works as a sentence:

"The way we build personal relationships is being harmed with the possibility of talking with someone while you’re just looking at a screen, where you can hide your insecurities, your fears and even change your personality because nobody is actually there to judge you."

In my experience, Spanish speakers tend to write quite long sentences. In fact that's great, it shows intelligence and fluency of mind. But you need to be careful not to miss the natural conclusion of the statement and continuing on to the next thought without a full stop to mark the transition.